Things aren’t even that crazy right now, so why in the world am I so exhausted?
That’s Dawn’s question this week, and it might be yours. The calendar looks fine. You’ve handled so much worse. And you are still wrecked.
Here’s what’s so: your workload got lighter. Your load didn’t.
WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON
Workload is visible. Meetings, projects, emails, deadlines. A neutral third party could count them. Mental load is the part nobody sees: remembering, anticipating, noticing, worrying, holding the standard, watching for the challenge that hasn’t become a challenge yet. Your calendar shows the meeting. It doesn’t show the 20 things you’re tracking before, during, and after it.
When all of that noticing lives in one place, you stop being a leader and start being a storage system. And because you’re capable, nobody notices, including you. Your capability becomes the workaround for something you haven’t built yet.
Dawn also goes to the uncomfortable part. Capable women hide in the work they already know because it allows them to check things off the list. Sometimes busy isn’t a workload problem. Sometimes busy is a hiding place.
IN THIS EPISODE
- Why your calendar lies by omission, and how to tell workload from mental load
- The burger sauce story: how the standards only you know never reach your team
- Why exhaustion might be information, not a flaw in how you manage yourself
THE IDEA WORTH SAVING
The job of a leader isn’t to carry nothing. The job is to decide what only you should carry, and you can’t decide that until you can see it. Your nervous system cannot be the operating system for your company.
Ask yourself:
- What am I remembering for everyone?
- What am I anticipating?
- What quality standards still live only in my head?
- What relationships depend entirely on me?
- What future am I the only person thinking about?
- What decisions keep coming back to me?
- What work am I doing simply because I can?
TRY THIS THIS WEEK
Put “What am I carrying that nobody can see?” at the top of a page and answer it for ten minutes. Fix nothing. Seeing is the door.
SEND THIS ONE
Think of the capable woman everyone relies on, the one who always has it handled. Send her this episode. If the woman you’re thinking of turns out to be you, listen again.
CHAPTERS
[00:00] Things aren’t that crazy, so why am I this tired?
[02:15] Workload is visible, mental load is not
[03:50] The burger sauce problem
[05:10] Busy as a hiding place
[09:00] What am I carrying that nobody can see?
Your calendar is lying by omission.
RELATED EPISODES
- Ep. 192 | Why “I’m Just Tired” Is a Lie Female Founders Keep Telling Themselves, And What to Do Instead
Your exhaustion was a leadership decision waiting to be made. This week’s question is what you’re carrying that nobody can see. - Ep. 209 | The Competence Trap: Why Delegation Gets Harder the Better You Are
If being capable is what keeps you carrying everything, start here. - Ep. 206 | Why “If I Don’t Do It, Nobody Will” Is Hurting Your Leadership
What if the thing you call resilience is the reason you’re burning out?
