She got the bigger title. She got the equity. Five years later, the thing she promised to build still doesn’t exist.
If a name just popped into your head, stay with me. The founder in this story (names changed, details blended, every beat true) did everything right on paper to help this employee grow.
Clear expectations, smaller steps, outside help, new deadlines. It still ended with two women who built something together unable to be in the same room.
The obvious diagnosis is accountability. It’s true, and it’s not deep enough. Every fix the founder tried treated this as a performance gap. What if her longtime star simply didn’t want the new job? She wanted the money, the recognition, and to keep doing the craft she’s world-class at. Totally legitimate. Also not the same as wanting to own systems, scale, and other people’s development.
Her yes was real. It was a yes to the relationship, the title, and not disappointing the founder. It just wasn’t a yes to the job. (Hello, fellow people pleasers.)
Founders don’t struggle to hold mediocre people accountable. We struggle to hold valuable people accountable.
IN THIS EPISODE
- Why a great person who keeps agreeing and keeps not doing may not have a performance gap at all
- The four things leaders mash into one when deciding who grows with the company, and how pulling them apart changes every people decision
- How to run a future role conversation so you find out whether she wants the job, not just the title
PULL THESE APART BEFORE YOUR NEXT PEOPLE DECISION
- Value: How important is she to the company?
- Capability: Can she do what the bigger role requires?
- Aspiration: Does she want the work, not the title?
- Readiness: Is she prepared to do it now?
Then separate what she deserves from what the company needs next. Honor the first, hire for the second. A senior expert track can be a real promotion.
THE FUTURE ROLE CONVERSATION
Sit on the same side of the table. Skip “Do you want more responsibility?” Everybody says yes to that. Ask instead:
- What do you want to spend more time doing, and less time doing?
- Do you want to manage people, or have deeper authority in your expertise?
- Do you want to be accountable for outcomes produced by people other than you?
- Which parts of this role sound exciting, and which sound miserable?
Then show her what Tuesday at 4:30 actually looks like, and believe her answer. A development gap you coach. A choice you respect.
TRY THIS THIS WEEK
Pick one person you’re quietly counting on for your next stage. Ask yourself: has she actually told me she wants the job I’m imagining, or did I build that future in my own head? Then have the conversation.
IF A NAME CAME TO MIND
Download The Feedback Fix to give feedback that lands, even with the person you’d least like to lose. Link below.
CHAPTERS
[01:30] Two women, one title, five years of yes
[05:00] She may not have wanted the job
[07:50] Why valuable people are the hardest to hold accountable
[09:20] Value, capability, aspiration, readiness
[12:50] The future role conversation
You don’t owe a great employee the next job, and she doesn’t owe you an appetite for becoming the person your growth plan requires.
