Burnout. You’ve most likely heard the term before – right now, it’s everywhere. And after the last couple of years, you might be wondering if you’re going through it. But do you really know what it means?
Maybe you think that burnout isn’t a thing. Oh, my friends… it most certainly is. But we need to get clear on the true meaning of burnout. It’s not just about being exhausted, overextended or needing to take more time off. Burnout goes so much deeper than any of that.
It’s connected to resentment, a lack of agency and a lack of recognition of the work you do. It’s being required to sacrifice the things that are important to you and the values you hold closest because you believe there’s no other way to get what you really want from life.
The first time I faced burnout was in my twenties. It happened again in my forties. There will not be a third time. In this episode, I share my experience of two very different but equally devastating burnouts and what I learned from each of them.
In this episode, I discuss
- What burnout really is (and what it isn’t)
- Why burnout is an especially big deal for women in leadership
- The connection between burnout and trauma
- My personal experience and struggles with burnout and the 3 crucial things I’m STILL doing to fix it
This episode at a glance:
[03:16] Three Lies and a Truth About Burnout. Burnout isn’t real. Sleep, a mental health day or a vacation can fix burnout. If you have burnout, you don’t know how to handle stress, and you should keep it a secret. Burnout affects more women than men. Which of these is true?
[04:12] Burnout *does* affect women more than men. We’re dealing with pay gaps, promotion blocks and other workplace inequalities which lead to frustration. We often carry a larger portion of the mental load of home and life, which leads to overwhelm. And we tend to avoid the conversations that might make this better.
[09:19] My first experience of burnout in my twenties. A demanding job in a fiercely competitive industry with 50 to 70-hour workweeks as the norm, no breaks, low pay and an extremely high-stress environment where mistakes simply weren’t tolerated soon sent me into overwhelm and exhaustion.
[15:51] Burnout is so much more than a lack of sleep or being stretched past your capacity. It’s connected to resentment, a lack of agency and believing you have to sacrifice what’s important to you to do a good job.
[19:00] Keeping your burnout a secret because you’re embarrassed about “not handling things” is the worst thing you can do. That’s when you need to cultivate connection the most.
[21:20] My second experience of burnout, this time in my forties while running my own business.
[23:16] The connection between burnout and trauma. How the stories from our past and the stress from the work we do lead us to set up unrealistic and unsustainable expectations for ourselves. Compassion fatigue as a form of vicarious trauma. The negative emotions we feel from helping others at work and our tendency to try and take on their burdens as our own.
[25:36] Burnout can actually be a gift. How my 2017 burnout experience led to a renaissance in my business.
[26:52] The three things I’m doing to make sure I avoid round 3 of burnout: looking at the hard conversations I need to have, knowing my deal-breakers and non-negotiables and setting strong yet flexible boundaries.
Disclaimer:
In this episode, I share my personal experience and struggles with burnout and what I did to fix it. But… I’m a business strategist and executive leadership coach, not a mental health professional. This is not mental health advice. So please consult your preferred mental health professional for additional support.
Resources and links mentioned in this episode
- Download your copy of the Brave Conversations Workbook, your guide to handling tough conversations with grace and directness.
- Read about the 2018 Montreal University study “Gendered Pathways to Burnout: Results from the SALVEO Study,” by Nancy Beauregard et al.
- The movie that made me realize life was imitating art a little too closely – “Swimming with Sharks”
You might also like
- Listen to Episode 04 of the podcast “How Perfectionism is Killing Your Business” (And How to Fight Back.)
- For help with stripping out distractions and figuring out what’s really important in your life, read Greg McKeown’s “Essentialism.”
